The Power Of The Mayoralty

March 11, 2011

Don’t think of this as a boast but it seems that we here at All Fired Up in the Big Smoke have reached a level of recognition that’s snagged us a cyber-groupie. No, actually it’s more like a cyber-stalker. A commenter at our site so relentless that even after we deemed it necessary to ban any further commenting (not entirely, we let the occasional one through just to prove how illogical, obtuse and nasty this nameless commenter can be), said commenter still writes in. Talk about your dedicated hater.

But, fair’s fair, and we do have to acknowledge when we’ve been correctly called out even by a cyber-stalker. Earlier this week as Mayor Ford continued to steamroll over city council, having his way this time with the TCHC vote, our biggest fan submitted a link to one of our posts from last August where we essentially said that even if then Councillor Rob Ford was to win the mayor’s race, his anti-collegial attitude would leave him a minority voice at council. Our very own words were even thrown back into our face. “So to you fanboys out there, trumpeting the ascension of Rob Ford and crowing about all the ass he’s going to kick and unions he’s going to bash and cyclists he’s going to run over, if your man gets elected, he’s going to be a mayor of one. All red faced and blustery, he’ll spend his time in office, stomping his feet and bellowing how he can’t get anything done, blaming everyone else but himself when the fact is, while pathological assholes who can’t work with others may be an asset when running an inherited business, it simply doesn’t fly at a non-political party municipal government level.”

Oops. How much more wrong could we have been? Colour us red-faced. Full disclosure here. This was a sentiment we continued to believe right up until and even after Rob Ford won despite those telling us that the power of the office could very well transform even the most cracked of crackpot councillors into a force to be reckoned with. Yep. We were clueless.

How could we have missed the warning signs coming from the likes of Giorgio Mammoliti? Rob Ford’s most withering and aggressive critic while both men were running for mayor and arch-nemesis on city council (except when they ganged up to chase a reporter from the socialist Globe and Mail out of chambers a few years back), upon withdrawing from the mayoral race, Mammoliti packed up any last vestiges of personal principal and threw his weight behind the Ford campaign. Now he basks in the glow as, literally, the mayor’s right hand man at council meetings and his chief apologist and defender.

As goes Councillor Mammoliti, so goes city council?

Mayor Ford’s strong majority might be even more surprising if it was built on a positive base of consensus seeking but I’m guessing that’s not really the case. There are whispers of cowering councillors fearful of reprisals if they don’t bow down and obey the mayor. In today’s Toronto Star story about the mayor’s voting cheat sheets, an anonymous member of the Executive Committee admitted that it wasn’t really an option to vote against the mayor’s wishes. At the TCHC vote on Wednesday night, Councillor Wong-Tam said her purposed amendment to the mayor’s motion received praise from some fellow councillors who winded up voting against it out of fear of the mayor. “I had councillors coming up to me saying they would love to support my motion, that it was fair and well considered, but that they would get in trouble.”

‘Get in trouble’?! What are you, 4 years-old? What kind of trouble?

Sure, the mayor is swinging some heavy duty pipe right now. I mean, he threatened the premier of Ontario, fergodssakes, with retributive political pain at the ballot box if he didn’t hand over some money. Even before he was elected mayor, Ford anointed Vincent Crisanti in his race to unseat fellow Etobicoke councillor Suzan Hall because Hall had the temerity to question Ford’s claim of being the only one to bring home the Woodbine Live development. Councillor Peter Milczyn fought for his political life when Ford propped up Morley “I Thought He Was Dead Already” Kells as an opponent.

Councillor Milczyn now? Awarded a spot on the Executive Committee by way of being Chair of the City’s Planning and Growth Management Committee, he is also Vice-Chair of the TTC. All he has to do in return? Keep quiet at council meetings except to rise in defense of the mayor by citing all the misuses of power by the previous administration and vote exactly how the mayor instructs him to vote.

So one has to wonder about other cowed councillors especially those not fully entrenched or who barely squeaked into office last October. The aforementioned Councillor Crisanti and his 41% of the popular vote. I’m thinking, Councillor Gloria Luby Lindsay at her 300 vote victory. Councillor James Pasternak and his eye-poppingly low 19%!! Or Councillor Gary Crawford and his 25%. The list goes on.

The problem as I see it about this possible rule by threats and intimidation, it doesn’t always stick. There’s no lasting loyalty just fear. Next election is still nearly 4 years off and that’s a lifetime and beyond in political time. What happens when the winds change and the mayor isn’t as popular as he is now? And the winds always change. Those councillors now basking in the mayor’s conditional love may not remain so obedient if fortunes turn and given Mayor Ford’s aggressive, confrontational manner, he will never be as popular as he is right now. Things will get uglier. The mayor will make sure they do. No one comes out of that kind of battle scenario unscathed.

Then again, what the hell do we know? Our ability to see into the future is somewhat suspect as our cyber-stalker gleefully informed us. Perhaps we should attempt some professional pundit, George Constanza-ish prediction where what happens will be the exact opposite of what we say. So, Rob Ford will enjoy 2 terms as Toronto’s mayor, doing everything he wants to do before moving on to provincial politics (with his brother Doug taking his spot as mayor here) where he will eventually become premier for a few years before moving on to eventually be Prime Minister of Canada. Finally he will be crowned King of the World, a title he will hold until he dies at the ripe old age of 107.

Fingers crossed.

prognosticatingly submitted by Cityslikr


On Vampires, Lindsay Lohan and Modern Cowboys

January 17, 2010

Another week gone and another 7 days of disappointment piled upon the death pyre of our lives as my bipolar stepchild is fond of saying before breaking out into a full blown, Ethel Merman-esque version of The Pixies’ Wave of Mutilation. It’s not nearly as gruesome or awkward as it sounds. While many a music scholar have traced the whole quietLOUDquiet sensibility to Frank Black and friends, I think it’s a style not unfamiliar to Merman fans. Although hers may be more of a LOUDLOUDLOUD(TheEnd)quiet kind of phrasing.

With the week at an end, let’s open up our readers’ mail bag and comments — that is to say, comment, as in one. Come on, people! It’s an open forum here, meant to encourage a stimulating back-and-forth. If I wanted to continue creating in a vacuum, I would’ve kept writing for the theatre!

OK, let’s see. Jason wrote: Can you please write about modern day cowboys? Or Vampires? Or Lindsay Lohan???? Seriously though, nice work. I really enjoy your writing style.

That’s very nice of you to say, Jason who, I swear upon my other stepchild’s grave, is a complete and utter stranger to me. I really enjoy your writing style too. I’m sure your work is nice as well if I had any idea what it was you do which I absolutely don’t.

As for modern day cowboys, I don’t know much about them, I’m afraid. The last one I really paid any attention to was McCloud way back in the `70s. He was a cowboy cop from New Mexico who patrolled the streets of New York on horseback for some reason. Part of NBCs Sunday Mystery Movie rotation, I will admit to being more partial to the crumpled charm of Columbo and the witty spousal banter of Susan Saint James and Rock Hudson in McMillan and Wife.

Funny I should mention Rock Hudson because I suddenly remembered other modern day cowboys. Those two fellas from that movie a few years ago, Brokeback Mountain.

I don’t have much more to say about vampires either. Although I do wish that there would be more formal rules as to what they can and can’t do, what will or will not kill them and does being dead increase one’s numeracy or is The Count on Sesame Street just good with numbers? Right now, I find it all so willy-nilly. Some vampires are instantaneously reduced to ashes with the merest touch of a single ray of sunlight while a hat, sunglasses and SPF 50 sunblock will allow other vampires to roam freely during business hours. It seems that the utility of crosses in the defense against the blood-sucking undead is entirely contingent upon a vampire’s religious convictions. If they believe in heaven and hell and all that hooey, they’re not that crazy about crucifixes while their atheistic brethren can squeeze a diamond crusted cross into a lump of coal with their icy cold bare hands.

A little consistency is all I’m asking for when it comes to vampires.

In addition to which, I think in the real world vampire ranks would be more filled with elderly and middle-aged vampires than the younger, buffer, hotter set. My reasoning? Youngsters already think they’re going to live forever. Why bother going through the whole dying and rebirthing stage? It’s for those whom the end is in sight that immortality would be more appealing. I’m 85?! Won’t somebody drain me of my blood and bring me back to life? Please! I’ve got a bum ticker? Hell, bring on the everlasting life, dawg.

Although I do see that if the vampire legions were swollen by droves of randy old coots there might be a run on the young bucks and nubiles. I mean, as an elderly vampire, are you really going to waste your time and superhuman strength and speed hunting old people like yourself? Yeah, probably not.

Re: Lindsay Lohan. Well, aside from me thinking that she may well be a vampire herself, I think LL occupies plenty of cyberspace without me weighing in. But for all the latest news and gossip, there’s no better place than www.lindsaylohansource.com/ in my humble opinion.

So thank you, Jason, for your comment. I hope I was able to shed some much needed light on the subject of vampires, Lindsay Lohan and modern day cowboys. I encourage all you readers out there to let us here at All Fired Up in the Big Smoke know what’s on your mind. Our door is always open, 24/7.

hungrily submitted by Cityslikr