There are more than a few of you reading these words, I’m sure, of the few of you here reading these words, thinking, What the fuck is this site even? Old men ranting old men things. Old people reminiscing. Erratic politic opining. Terrible AI art (which, in our weak defense, was an inartistic attempt to make fun of AI art, an oxymoronic endeavour, it turns out, and one we no longer actively pursue, every image here now a rehash of a rehash).

But I will have you know that once upon a time, the early days of 2010 to be exact, 1846 posts ago, to be even exacter, All Fried Up in the Big Smoke debuted as All Fired Up in the Big Smoke, a blog dedicated almost exclusively to the local Toronto political scene. “Municipal politics”, the original log line stated. “Like it matters.” We thought it clever. We were younger back then.

The impetus was to enter the fray of what we assumed to be the then incumbent mayor’s run for a third term against the perennial possible contender. David Miller v. John Tory. And boy did we get it wrong, presaging what would become, perhaps, our feature trademark, our brand, if you will. Unerring political miscalculation.

Nevertheless, we kept at it for more than five years before the band broke up for all the usual reasons and tropes. Creative differences. Power struggles. A girl. A fundamental inability to grow our “product” beyond an audience of merely family members and the most sympathetic of friends. “Product?!?” was screeched during one of the final founders’ rows. “This is a labour of love! A civic duty!!!!”

Everything here since has been filler. Marking time. Death twitches awaiting a Frankenstein moment of rebirth. Into something new. Something anything. Something only fire can kill.

Now that you’re all caught up, you’ll understand why we’re using this space to acknowledge the retirement from City Hall after twenty years in office of Councillor Gord Perks.

During our time writing, pontificating and bloviating about Toronto politics, nobody at the place provided more entertainment and insight into the wonky machinations and aspirations at work there at 100 Queen West than Gord. The man knew his shit inside out and wasn’t bashful about putting it on display for everyone to see. He could be acerbic to the point of dismissiveness with those he disagreed with, not because he disagreed with them but because he felt they hadn’t put the work in to understand the issue at hand. Gord was a great speaker to listen to in chambers and a lot of fun to shoot the shit with outside of it.

I’m not even going to pretend to offer an objective assessment of the man’s career and legacy. Gord was the most prominent figure inside City Hall to promote and engage with the work we were doing at All Fired Up. His attention to us lifted the site up to whatever level it is to be slightly above absolute obscurity. We became, not friends, but friendly, and had occasion to jaw about unofficial things over drinks, and I’ll say with all the honesty I could possibly possess in judging someone else’s character, that there was very little bullshit with Gord. What you see is what you got. WYSIWYG. That’s what the kids say these days, right?

In the wake of his retirement, there’s been some chatter about term limits as Perks is one of the few incumbent city councillors not running for re-election this fall. I understand and am sympathetic to the arguments in favour of limits, new blood, old ways, the near impossibility of ousting deadwood councillors at the polling booth, etc. I just waver somewhat in the face of the idea of what happens when somebody who is really good at the job, continues to be good at the job, continues to be a positive force, gets summarily pushed aside for the purely arbitrary determination that change is inherently good.

Gord Perks was that kind of elected official. He was good at what he did. He continued to be good at what he did for twenty years. The city is a better place, however minimally you want to measure that imprecise quality, because he served Toronto for two decades.

Because we’re allergic here to the maudlin and sentimental, this post couldn’t possibly end on that note. We put our heads together to try and come up with the perfect image of Gord in action over the course of the five years we closely followed City Hall. Unanimously, we came up with the face palm.

Back in 2013 or so, after a severe July storm that deluged the city, a council debate ensued about aging infrastructure unable to deal with the new realities of climate change. Not so fast, argued Councillor Norm Kelly. “According to Russian scientists,” the councillor claimed, Toronto may get better weather because of climate change. Sitting directly behind Kelly, Gord was caught on camera pulling a perfect face palm in response.

We’re with you, Councillor Perks. Trying times indeed. Sisyphean even.

Congratulations (or whatever the appropriate salutation is for this occasion) on your retirement. Thank you for your dedicated time in office. Whatever’s next for you, may it offer up the opportunity to rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer whenever you damn well please.