Fuck You Santa

December 24, 2013

In the spirit of the season, I’ll assume that exclamatory statement to be an anomaly. mayorfordbobbleheadSomething that was inevitably going to be said when there’s somebody standing hours in line to purchase a 2nd edition Mayor Rob Ford bobblehead doll, and a Santa Claus at City Hall, waiting to serve the mayor notice of a delivery of 30 wheelbarrows full of coal. What else could we expect? All things considered, we probably got off easy.

I mean, the crowd didn’t swarm and stomp Santa Claus to death. I’d like to think that was out of a sense of decency rather than fear of losing their spot in line.

What we absolutely shouldn’t do here is to make mass assumptions about what this all means for next year’s mayoral election race. Mayor Ford is a celebrity now, more so than an incumbent politician. Star of newspapers and the small screen, as seen on Jimmy Kimmel, David Letterman, Saturday Night Live and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Everybody wants a piece of him. coalOn the Friday before Christmas, there were two offers for the 1st run of $20 bobble heads with respective asking prices of $511.91 and $748.09.

These things are collectibles. So why are we surprised hundreds of people lined up to get in on the action? You’d be crazy not to!

Sure, Fuck You Santa guy was probably a hardcore Ford loyalist. The person who told protest Santa to get a job, while standing in line, waiting for a bobblehead during a work day, had to be one too. There were chants of ‘4 More Years! 4 More Years!’ from some of the crowd when the mayor finally appeared (about 40 minutes late, as usual). They’re out there. They’re not going away.

But let’s not fuss and fret that it’s proof of Ford Nation’s electoral power and might. That would be as bad as taking the results of a Forum Research poll seriously. Think of it more as the remnants of what was once a so-called Ford Nation, the dregs, relaxitschristmasthe last of the implacable adherents, true believers, the most zealous of the zealous.

Who else in their right mind would brazenly tell Santa Claus to fuck off in the rotunda of City Hall less than a week before Christmas?

I choose to believe that there are not enough of those types in Toronto to be much of a political force to be reckoned with.

But maybe that’s just the egg nog talking.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Yuletidely submitted by Cityslikr

Des Cracked Bürgermeister

November 1, 2013

Well, we didn’t really expect a graceful response from Mayor Rob Ford to all the mounting evidence pointing to the reprobate lifestyle he leads,bullinachinashop did we?

Set aside for the moment the alleged drug use. As it stands right now, we haven’t seen any direct proof of him using illegal narcotics and, even if we had, well, those of us in glass houses and such. Drug use is not my main concern here.

And, having not seen the video Police Chief Bill Blair yesterday confirmed exists, I’m even going to ignore the racist and homophobic blathering from the mayor that’s allegedly on it. That’s for another day.

At this point, it’s the seedy aspect of it all that is so eye-popping. A shock and disappointment, to paraphrase Blair’s reaction. The amount of time the mayor of this country’s largest city spent on drug transactions degenerate(or “constituency meetings” as he and his staff might refer to them) is astounding. In gas stations. At kids’ soccer games. On residential streets. Dark, secluded public spaces.

These weren’t just simply in passing hand-offs of money for product either. There’s His Worship, sitting in his SUV, swilling vodka and tossing his empties out into a school parking lot. Or him stepping out for a public piss. Last month when Sandro Lisi was first arrested, a neighbour, Carol Peck, said she spotted the mayor in his truck outside Lisi’s house brushing his teeth and spitting his oral bilge out onto the street. “And I thought,” she later said, “I can’t believe I’m seeing what I’m seeing.”

I can’t believe I’m seeing what I’m seeing.

Mayor Rob Ford’s behaviour goes beyond seedy.

The man is a monumental fucking liar, to boot.

“I cannot comment on a video that I have not seen or does not exist,” the mayor claimed last May when news of it first surfaced. liarWell, now we know for certain the video exists unless, of course, you’ve holed up behind the barricades of all reasonable thought and think somehow the police chief is playing politics and has joined in with the media conspiracy that’s just making this shit up. Based on the evidence released yesterday, Mayor Ford knew it existed from the get-go, with all the frantic phone calls logged between him and Lisi immediately following the Star’s initial story about it. That’s why Lisi was in court again today. On extortion charges stemming from his alleged attempts to get his hands on the video Mayor Ford assured us did not exist.

The woeful remnants of Team Ford is going to do what it has to do to fight this to whatever bitter end lies ahead, and I’m pretty confident now it’s going to be a bitter end for them. Going out on a limb of speculation here, I’m guessing Chief Blair offered the mayor a quiet exit yesterday. To think that the remaining redacted portion of the surveillance evidence doesn’t contain the mayor’s name and, in all likelihood, in a much more damaging light, is to put wishful thinking ahead of just plain common sense.

The cross your fingers and hope the worst is over portion of this end game is finished despite what the Fords may want to believe. Fighting for your political survival does not leave much room for actual leadership. custerslaststandWe’re done pretending it’s business as usual at City Hall.

Councillor Gloria Lindsay Luby summed it up in response to the controversy, saying Mayor Ford “has lost moral authority”. I’ll do her one better. Mayor Rob Ford never had any moral authority because clearly he has no moral compass. He and his dwindling band of rag tag defenders don’t know right from wrong and simply refuse to step up and accept responsibility for their actions.

This isn’t a leadership vacuum. This is a leadership black hole from which no light has any hope of ever escaping. When the mayor’s staff has to contact the mayor’s drug dealer to find out the whereabouts of the mayor, well, I don’t know how to possibly end that sentence except to say if Mayor Ford was really looking for a reason why he should resign…

Any of the mayor’s 44 council colleagues still harbouring the notion that he’s capable of effectively running this city are both enabling his negligent behaviour and putting the city’s best interests behind those of Mayor Ford’s and/or their own political careers. hediditWhen the budget chief, Ward 12 councillor Frank Di Giorgio, reacted to the evidence released yesterday by telling CP24’s Katie Simpson that “maybe he [the mayor] doesn’t do it [smoke crack] everyday”, he got the stench of corruption all over him. Continuing to pretend that everything’s fine is nothing less than a dereliction of duty on city council’s part.

Even if Mayor Ford thinks he can survive this and still play mayor, councillors must start working over and around him. There are few tools at their disposal to do this officially but they can start acting as if he’s not there which, given how much of his time and energy will be spent defending himself, won’t be too far from the truth. Toronto is now without a mayor in every way but name. Any councillor conducting business contrary to that stark reality will be complicit in perpetuating a fraud on the city they were elected to represent.


demandingly submitted by Cityslikr