Maybe if I was showered with train travel it might become mundane. Just another way to get around, to get from point A to point B. Like a car. Or airplane. Ho hum. Complimentary corn nuts pretty much all taste the same at 12k metres.

But a tomatoe-y egg salad sandwich served on stale white bread while riding the rails bound for Glasgow? Get that fuck out of here with that! It’s why man journeys beyond the comfort zone. Free-range eggs mixed with tomato sauce.

It’s ridiculous how easily pleased I am when I’m riding a train.

First we chunneled our way to the UK from Paris on the Eurostar, subject to airport-level security at Gare du Nord, only mildly diminishing the pleasure of making our way through the garish grandiosity that is the station. There could be no doubt that you were going some place special, this edifice trumpets. Then, came the delay of the train just before us, technical issues, that crowded the departure lounge a little uncomfortably. People vying for available seating, and it being the start of cold and flu season (not to mention the other thing we don’t like to talk about anymore). That delay meant that we were going to be behind 20 minutes, throwing into question the chances of making our connection in London where we only had an hour to play with, including a scamper from St. Pancras (another beautiful train station) to Euston (less impressive).

The trials and tribulations of travel, amirite? By plane, train or automobile. Hassle and chaos just go with the territory any time you decide to leave the routine predictability of your own home.

Still though,

once you’re seated on the train, not necessarily your lounge la-z-boy but ample space enough, baggage tucked away with no jostling for room in the overhead bin, some leg room to spare, you can just sit back and enjoy the view if you’re so inclined. And why wouldn’t you be? That’s why you’re taking a train in the first place.

Yes.

We could’ve got from Paris to Glasgow much faster. Less than a couple hours, plus whatever unknown airport time you have to factor in. For us, door-to-door the train trip took the better part of twelve hours. But I’d say for about 9 of those hours it was all light work and easy leisure. Reading, listening to music and watching the world go by at a enjoyable, relaxing human pace. Great gig if you can swing it, have that luxury of time, I guess. An impractical fantasy to anyone with four weeks of annual holidays coming to them.

Unless getting to where you’re going is part of the joy of travel, not simply a necessarily evil aspect of it.

Which is the appeal of taking trains for me. It’s part of the package. An experience rather than just an expedient. Sure. I could get to my destination sooner but there’s something I’ll be missing along the way. That liminal time in between locations. Processing the place we’re leaving behind and contemplating the spot we’re heading to. Not just one trip, but a couple at least, multiple vacations in one!

This notion is, of course, predicated on the fact that where you’re going has a properly functioning rail system which is a foreign concept to most of living and operating in North America, now as exotic as the ol’ Iron Horse or the Orient Express. No wait. That’s still a thing. If you’ve got the euros to splurge.

But imagine setting a murder mystery on Via Rail running along the Windsor-Quebec City corridor. Whodunnit? The inevitable delays and cancellations. That’s who. Killed everyone on board’s will to live.

Train travel in North America is basically an after-thought, a novelty mode of transport designed largely for retirees and rail enthusiasts. A situation made worse by the fact that most places you might go to are public transit deficient, leaving visitors at the mercy of unpredictable bus schedules and cash-grabbing car for hires. Why don’t we just fly, dear, and rent a car when we get there?

So, going by train is for other places, places that do it better, that have a long history of doing it, that continue to emphasize it even in the face of impossibly low air fares offered by low-budget carriers that, ultimately, cut costs by making the experience of traveling even worse.

Going by train may not get you the farthest and is certainly not the fastest, but it can deliver a relaxing and restful time away which is sort of the reason we go on vacation in the first place.