Come on, folks.

It’s just 3%. That’s only 1% more than the kind of milk downtown elites use in their lattes.

Just 3%, folks.

It’s not like anyone, I don’t know, on the mayor’s campaign team gave the thumbs-up for a break-in of a rival candidate’s psychiatrist’s office, then taped and erased conversations about it and lied to congress. Or ordered the illegal bombing of Cambodia.

A little perspective here, folks.

It’s just 3%.

Nobody’s talking about envelopes stuffed with money being shadily handed over in hotel rooms. So there was one slightly under-priced Winnebago involved. It’s not like anybody got run over with it.

3%, folks.

What’s the big deal about a measly six figure loan between a brother and his brother’s corporate company? Tell me all families don’t do that kind of thing when one of them is running for political office. It’s not like there was any lobbyists involved or anything. I don’t think. Let me check that before you run with it. It might take a while. The report’s like, what, 52 pages?

We’re talking 3%, folks. Some 40 grand. It’s not as if we were actually counting every single dime during the campaign, am I right? That’s what happens after you’re elected. When you’re respecting the taxpayers. Tell me that fucking weasel Vaughan hasn’t bought like 200 coffee machines for his office in the past couple years.

3%.

If they didn’t want us going over a spending limit, why set one in the first place? That’s just a dare. Should we be punished for being that kind of risk taker, folks?

3%.

Are you trying to tell me that not one leftie councillor went over their spending limit in 2010? Not one of the loser candidates for mayor? Seriously. Are you trying to tell me that? I’m asking. Seriously. I don’t know. I could get an investigation started but it’s just so much easier to cast aspersions and innuendo.

We’ve saved the Taxpayers of Toronto ONE BILLION DOLLARS, folks. Now you’re unwilling to overlook a lousy 40 Gs, 3% of a billion dollars?

Look, folks. Our forefathers didn’t chase the English off the shores of the Great Lakes in 1492 only to see democracy overturned by sore losers who can’t even get elected to the school board. I mean, if Del Grande’s kid can get elected trustee… You see what I’m saying here? The meek shouldn’t be inheriting the earth because that’s how communism works. Who’d you put money on in a kick-boxing fight? Me or Jim Stalin?

3%, folks.

This is a witch hunt, pure and simple.

And while I’m sure a few of those witches they burned at the stake back in the 60s knew a little hocus-pocus, I’m willing to bet none of them were witchy all the way through. You see what I’m saying? Like that Bewitched! She was a witch but not a bad one. Should they’ve burned her at the stake?

Witch hunts are only as bad as the witches involved. It’s all about perspective, folks. Not all witches should be hunted. So if a witch is only 3% bad, is it really worth the effort?

Be careful what witch you hunt, is what I’m saying.

And 3%, well, that’s just petty and vindictive. That’s just a rounding error. Let He Who Has Never Carried The Two Incorrectly Cast The First Stone. If you want rock solid numbers, the private sector’s should run campaigns, folks. Governments are always all over the place with their numbers. Remember the St. Clair Disaster!

3%, folks.

A little perspective.

As Thomas Johnson once said, ‘Democracy’s determined at the ballot box not an accounting ledger’. Amen to that. And 2014 can’t come soon enough.

— imaginedly submitted by Cityslikr