Political Thoughts From The Love Shack

For those of you assigning my absence at this site to being lost in pursuit of pure and utter carnality, having last seen me being carted off a dance floor tucked under the arm of… how was it described.. ? “… one of the [statuesque] blondes just as Come Sail Away by Styx kicked into high gear”, allow me to set the record straight.

1) While it was Styx that played me out of the bar, the song was Lady not Come Sail Away.

2) The [statuesque] blonde in question is named Cerise and while she is on the tall side, statuesque may be somewhat hyperbolic. In bare feet, she is no more than 4 inches taller than I, and I am certainly not a tall man.

3) That most definitely was an impersonator of my person in this week’s comment sections. I have remained faithful to my vow of abstinence with KFC since the retainer incident. So I would hardly be gallivanting around the countryside with a bucket by my side. Also, I have no idea what a ‘speedball’ is.

4) Holed up as we have been in her quaint farmhouse all by its lonesome in the hinterlands of Dufferin County, our intercourse, as it were, has hardly been to the exclusion of anything outside of the primal kind. After all, we aren’t base animals, blind to all but our corporal desires.

In fact, over the past week, Cerise and I have discovered a mutual love of municipal governance and civic legislative structures. (I think this one may be a keeper!) Between mouthfuls of bonbons and tankards of merlot, we debated the merits of prescriptive versus permissive powers, the nature of the so-called ‘in between’ cities, the ridiculously inflated rock star persona of Richard Florida. And, of course, we both mooned over Saint Jane Jacobs.

More to the point, it was during a heated discussion about Thomas J. Courchene that I was struck by an idea that is pertinent to the discussion here over the last few days. In his June 2005 IRPP Working Paper entitled Citistates and the State of Cities: Political-Economy and Fiscal-Federalism Dimensions, Courchene suggests that, traditionally, municipal governments – deprived of actual fiscal and legislative powers by their respective provinces – have been little more than caretakers or purely administrative units. That is to say, doing the grunt work for their superiors.

Think the British Raj in India. Local government answerable ultimately to their political masters in a faraway place. Or to bring it closer to home, as Professor David Siegel has framed it, municipalities are merely vehicles for decentralized provincial service delivery. Provinces say “jump” and cities ask “how high”. From that vantage point, Rocco Rossi’s Empire Club speech should be seen as merely an extension of that mindset.

And who’s to say that the voters of Toronto don’t share Rossi’s point of view? If the newspapers and polls are to be believed, we no longer remain in thrall to Mayor Miller and his minions’ (again, borrowing from Courchene) ‘policy-intensive and participation/accountability-enhancing’ approach to governing this city. Perhaps, Rossi simply recognizes our latent desire to want someone else to tell us how to live our lives and therefore rid ourselves of the responsibility to accept the consequences of our own decisions. Maybe deep down in our heart of hearts, we Torontonians are simply of the administrative sort; reactive rather than proactive.

There’s no shame in that. Unfortunately, little excitement either. But hey, what are you going to do? Unburdened by responsibility, we have more leisure time to eat bonbons and drink merlot.

— satiatedly submitted by Acaphlegmic

Film Review: Avatar

[excerpts from a post-screening discussion of Avatar between two All Fired Up in the Big Smoke contributors at a local watering hole as heard by an interested observer. Joined in progress.]

Cityslikr: … I’m not saying James Cameron is, uh, Orson Welles or anything.

Urban Sophisticat: Good.

CS: Will you let me finish?

US: Just trying to stop you from saying anything even more stupid.

[Undecipherable, garbled back and forth.]

CS: But the man’s clearly tapped into something. This thing is spectacularly successful! Like, we’re talking over the top popular, right?

US: So you’re equating popularity with excellence then.

CS: No, not—

US: Because Hitler was popular for awhile back there. Or how about smoking? Smoking was very popular a few decades ago. Are you going to tell me that because 50% of people smoked in the 60s that it was good?

CS: No.

US: So why does being so popular make Avatar a good movie?

CS: That’s not what I’m saying and since you brought it up, shall we go out for a butt?

US: Absolutely.

[The two finish up their drinks and exit the bar to have a cigarette outside which is the law as mandated by local authorities. During their absence, allow me to put my 2 cents in here about Avatar since, having seen it 5 times already, I am obviously more well versed in the subject matter at hand than these 2 dilettantes. Avatar transcends the normal movie going experience. It is a spectacle. It overwhelms the viewer’s sensory perceptions, thereby rendering the usual critical faculties null and void. Watch. Listen. Do not think. Just bathe in the glorious magic of advanced technology. But sshh. They’re returning from their cigarette break. Let’s listen.]

US: … I just think that with the half billion dollars or so they spent making and marketing this thing a little bit of the dough could’ve been thrown towards developing a script that wasn’t working purely on a 12 year-old’s level. I mean, who’dve thunk that in less than a year, someone could out dumb Transformers 2?

CS: Hey. Never discount the purchasing power of the dumb. It’s the underpinning of our entire economic system.

US: I’m not asking for War and Peace or Cormac Mc-fucking-Carthy! But what about the thoughtfulness of, I don’t know, Harry Potter or, heaven forbid, Charlotte’s Web. Instead, we get a warmed over version of Disney’s Pocahontas. And I’m not the first person to say that.*

[*No he’s not. See here for example.]

CS: Yeah, Pocahontas. The Lion King. The guy even stole from his own movie, for chrissakes. Aliens. Substitute Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley and Paul Reiser’s Carter Burke for Sigourney Weaver’s Grace Augustine and Giovanni Ribisi’s Parker Selfridge and you got a direct match. I bet he even lifted some of the dialogue directly.

US: And this doesn’t bother you?

CS: Dude, there’s so much more in the world to get truly bothered about. You should’ve just settled back and enjoyed the ride.

US: Hey. I did. For the first hour and a half. At about the two hour mark, I would’ve paid another $17 just to make it stop.

CS: Why didn’t you just walk out then?

US: I don’t know. I was right in the middle of the row. I didn’t want to bother everyone by leaving. The idiots seemed to be enjoying their pablum.

CS: You are such a pompous c**t.

US: I know. I can’t help it. It’s the curse of elevated expectations.

[And so it went on until deep into the night and early morning hours, not ending even with the publican’s cry of: last orders, gentlemen! In all likelihood the conversation continues still, somewhere in the Big Smoke.]

— secretly submitted by Acaphelgmic

A Saturday Funny (sort of)

Dear Cityslikr,

Re: your post from yesterday. A little joke:

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

In other words, correlation does not imply causation. I’m sure Mr. Tory had other reasons for deciding not to run for mayor aside from your enmity toward his possible candidacy.

Just keeping it real, yo.

— statistically submitted by Acaphelgmic