Failing Upward

June 15, 2012

Yeah look, folks. Everybody knows this gig is bush league. Anybody with a lick of ambition or smarts sees municipal politics as nothing more than a stepping stone to bigger things. I mean, look at who’s mayor of this place? My idiot brother! No, I’m just kidding. He’s alright. Doing great. Turning this ship around. Yeah but sure, first opportunity and I’m outta here.

Come on. Admit it.

Councillor Doug Ford might’ve just as well said that when news broke of a possible summer election here in Ontario. Look at what he did say, according to Toronto Sun reporter Don Peat.

He Came Back For You, Ward 2

There’s bigger fish to fry, folks. Brother-Mayor Rob has got us  – or at least Etobicoke – covered. So Doug’s now free to work the Ford magic for the city at the provincial level.  “I can do more for them provincially, than municipally,” the councillor claimed.

Let’s hope so because after nearly 18 months down at City Hall it’s hard to see exactly what he’s done for the city as a whole or his own Ward 2 constituents in particular. As his brother’s right hand man, Councillor Ford has essentially helped rip up the mayor’s mythical mandate with his regular near Ralph Kramden pie in the sky schemes that began last year down on the Port Lands and that ill-fated land grab, continuing apace through the subways v. streetcar transit debacle. Rarely a week goes by without the councillor having to take a foot from his mouth in an attempt to reverse damage to the family brand. Why, just last Sunday, he called his sister-in-law, the mayor’s wife, The Polock. Apparently, some people think that’s derogatory.

And Doug Ford was supposed to be the smart one, helping to keep his maverick brother in check.

It seems his constituents haven’t fared a whole lot better since the councillor finds that kind of work boring. One of those constituents, Rahim Lahda, wrote a less than glowing post in April at blogTO about the representation Councillor Ford’s bringing to the table. Underwhelming, let’s call it.

Yet the man is raring to go, wanting to take it up a notch, and bring his D game to Queen’s Park. Never mind his likely opponent is Shafiq Qaadri, a twice re-elected incumbent who survived last October’s election with only a minor downturn in plurality; the 2nd place PC challenger was closer in vote totals to the 3rd place NDP candidate than the winner. Never mind that Tim Hudak and the PC party haven’t exactly lit it up from the opposition bench. Never mind that by all accounts except for garnering publicity (most of it of the bad variety for the past year or so), Doug Ford has been a terrible, terrible councillor.

I’m Doug Ford, dammit! We have a family dynasty in the making! I returned from Chicago for you, Etobicoke Ward 2, North, Queen’s Park, Ontario.

Fingers crossed.

Good luck and good riddance to him.

City Hall will be a better, if less fun, place in his absence.

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