Taking The Low Road Out Of Town

The original plan was to cancel my scheduled trip and stick around town for the week, get a close up, bird’s eye view at what would most certainly be an eventful few days around town. Or maybe it would all amount to little more than The Big Fizzle. Could they erect a temporary police state and nobody shows up to the party? What’s that you say? The successful spending of a billion dollars for preventative measures?

But then Urban Sophisticat announced that he was bailing. An unexpected invite to a friend of a friend’s cabin in the woods, far away from all the fuss and bother, to kick back and luxuriate in a self-imposed media blackout, free from what will surely be a crescendo of hysteria and nefarious terrorist/protestor spotting. That he also gets a break from the incessant World Cup chatter is only an added bonus for him.

And then Acaphlegmic reappeared after a long absence, sporting what he referred to as a spirit of ’68 glint in his eye. There was a certain unsettling bounce in his step, a swagger one might say. It even looked like he might’ve been working out. He was more buff than a man his age should be. I told him as much. “Hey. We didn’t start this thing,” he responded. “They came in and hijacked our house.” Oh, good christ. He’s juiced. Again. This wasn’t going to be about political protest. What I was witnessing was an incipient case of roid rage.

So I decided to pick up stakes and head out as planned. Off to a quinquennial gathering of the clan with the hopes of finally settling the matter of a new sporran design. Leaving behind one wall, I would spend the week behind another; older but equally as ineffectual in the long run. Like Hadrian, you can try and keep people out but you can’t stop the free flow of ideas forever. And in Scotland, I’ll get a few days enjoying soccer, free of the dismissive taunts of those who aren’t even willing to try and understand the appeal of the sport. “No, it is not called the Beautiful Game because we’re watching it in HD.”

Yes, I’m probably acquiescing to the intimidating barks of law and order or just simply threatened by inconvenience. The preparations all seem so unnecessary, provocative even. It’s like this place was chosen to prove a point. We are important. We and what We represent are unassailable. We are not afraid of you. You cannot sequester Us out in the middle of nowhere. You cannot keep Us from exerting Our will.

In the face of that, Acaphlegmic and his ilk are right. Sometimes you do have to make a stand. Sometimes you have to strike a blow against egregious shows of force and intimidation. Fight fire with fire. Sometimes, as Ferris Bueller once stated, you just have to say, what the fuck.

Once more to the barricades, my friends! I will be watching and pulling for you from afar. If you would be so kind, could you organize your news breaking events when the World Cup isn’t airing any games. That would be from 1230-2130 GMT (0730-1630 local time). And if you could keep your rampages away from our offices that too would be appreciated. We haven’t kept up with all our insurance payments. Some cash flow problems lately. You know how those companies can be. Damages due to riots and civil unrest are most definitely not covered. Read the fine print.

— Firth of Forthly submitted by Cityslikr