In hindsight, we should’ve protested the slight by not writing anything during the 17 days of Olympic glory.
And how glorious it was!
Today, as the sun rises on a new Canada, we are a people who have finally tasted true athletic triumph. And we likeee! Gone forever are the what ifs and near misses. No more are we grumpily content with a pat on the back for merely trying hard and doing our best.
No, we did not Own the Podium™®© as organizers had originally predicted. We were out medaled by the U.S. and Germans. But we bested the hated Americans where it really counted: on the ice of a hockey arena.
In smashing gold medal haul records as host country and overall in terms of the Winter Olympics, we proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that Canada is the greatest northern country that the world has ever seen. Up yours, former Soviet Union! We did it legitimately without having to subjugate other countries and peoples to pad our athlete ranks. Granted, there may’ve been a little subjugation of First Peoples but that was a long time ago and we allowed them to dress up in their native garb and gave them a spot in the VIP box right behind the Prime Minister. Can you say the same, former Soviet Union? Norway?
So monumental was Canada’s victory in the 2010 Olympics that it gave pause to this normally non-Believer in a Higher Being. Maybe, just maybe, there is a God after all. A beneficent, magnanimous God who finally turned His All Knowing, All Seeing Gaze down upon Canada and bestowed Heavenly Excellence onto us. How else to explain the stupendous turn around in our Olympic fortunes? Coincidence?
We’re # 1! We’re # 1! We’re # 1!
— patriotically submitted by Urban Sophisticat