Not All Near Accidents Are Accidents

January 16, 2010

Now, I don’t nor does anyone I know at all well own a “magenta-ishish” coloured PT Cruiser (although I think the colour may be more of an Inferno Red Tinted Pearlcoat or possibly even a Tangerine Pearlcoat in an earlier GT model), so this is all very hypothetical, you understand. But it’s not unreasonable to suspect that my esteemed colleague’s “brush with death” as he wrote about yesterday may have had less to do with a random, out of control driver and more to do with… ahhh, an optimized situational opportunity, let’s call it. And again, I’m just tossing out some ‘what ifs’ and ‘or maybe then agains’ here.

You see, on more than a few occasions over drinks at the bar of a local spirit selling establishment I have witnessed a certain someone draw the ire of fellow patrons with an unfortunate ill-timed use of what would otherwise be considered a spectacular bon mot. Other times there are those within earshot who don’t take to the colourful (mostly blue) language being bandied about and not always, necessarily, hurled in their general direction. And yes, who among us hasn’t seen misunderstandings arise over the term “open marriage”? Open can mean very different things to different people.

The point is, twice (possibly three as I’m not at all fluent in Portuguese) over the holiday season alone I heard threats uttered of — and I’m paraphrasing here — running someone down like a dog if they ever see them in street, you so-and-so and such-and-such. Whether or not they came from those owning a “magenta-ishish” coloured PT Cruiser, I don’t know. At least not for sure.

So before we all go and get our outrage knickers in a twist over negligent, inattentive drivers wreaking havoc on our roads and sidewalks, let’s make sure that we separate the true offenders from those who are far more deliberate in their actions. I think there may be some people behind the wheel of their car who are very, very premeditated and know exactly what they’re doing.

I’m not saying. I’m just saying.

suggestively submitted by Cityslikr